cong a.k.a jordana site of me and updates (will change soon)

I have not really achieved anything significant so far. But that is not to say I do not have anything significant I am blessed to hold on to.

The decision to actually apply for INSTEP, or foreign exchange to another overseas university, was rather a surprise, even to myself. The cost covering the whole duration is a bomb. And this is just one of the numerous factors deciding my, or rather most people’s, option in applying.

My essay to the registration basically listed them all out. They are just things I am, and am willing, to give up for the 5 months stint in another country. All that for just a precious ticket to an institution in a foreign land.

It is strange how eager I am to give up everything for I am checking my mailbox so often for the results since 8th February.

The above was written soon after I got my INSTEP acceptance, which was around mid February. And this post stopped there.

Now is 4th June. Let me continue…

My eagerness brought me a strange sense of disbelief for the first time in my entire life. It was true. I never had that feeling ever before. I wanted to punch my fist in the air but I could not because I was insider the train when I checked my inbox. A few seconds later my eyes welled up with tears.

The promise I seemed to make to myself looks like gotta be realised. Well, I am ready for it, am I not?

Too bad my heart gave in for the period starting end of january. Alot needs to be done, or rather undone I am afraid comes summer/fall. Still, I cannot wait to tell you this fantastic news as you are one I want to share my joy with.

Back to now. Yes I am still correct. But is a sad truth thoughh. Undone. The awesome months before are terrible now. Give up is not the word I wanna used now. Did I ever thought of using give up back then at February? I am no longer eager to find out. Rather I will put it this way, leaving here for exchange will literally mean “leave” everything here.

Joker me, as if I am leaving for 5 years. Yes, the time is not long. But being helpless for nothing could be done anymore, even 5 days is not ideal. What’s meant to be will be. Everybody says that. Sometimes I do not like that.

But I am not disregarding it totally, because there is really nothing I can do about you anymore..