cong a.k.a jordana site of me and updates (will change soon)

It is the new year! I was reminded by my sister how long since I last blogged. Well, I am still jet-lagged, am I not? Hah.

Coming back from my long trip to Canada for exchange really brought me nothing but thoughts. How much, how far and how fast things and situations changed. I still remember the committment I made to myself to strive for the chance for this exchange. And now I am blogging at how this exchange has been over.

New year seems obliging to have everything starts afresh. Certain things I just do not wish to be starting from zero. However, the long trip away whacked my head hard on how I should approach things at least in this coming 3 years, or even just this year.

5 months away was not long. I could not reiterate more often. In the timeline of others, it seems to be. I feel sad for alot of things. Because these 5 months just some catastrophic events had actually happened. But all these were just a matter of measuring others with one’s own yardstick. So forget it. All along I have been trying to see things in positive light, and I am getting better at it now. More so than ever.

It was said being away for a period of time will make oneself a better person. I tried to be. And if I feel I had, I probably should not doubt myself. But my father said something very true, the merits of oneself should be determine by others. Then trust me, when I do consider certain bit of somebody to have things to improve on, you do have much to improve on.

I could not find back the piece of passage I wrote to my school for the exchange in saying why I deserved the spot to go. What was written, though, I do know, the majority of it. It was kinda like a forecast I had to myself. If there was a checklist of fulfilment at the end of this exchange for what I had written, most, if not all, would be ticked.

I gained alot over this later half of 2010. Holding back to what could not be permanent is not going to be my trait anymore. I am still learning on this. However, losing myself is a bane. I told myself do not ever lose that. If what I say make some sense, then please do not lose yourself. Being honest to oneself is the best one can do to help oneself. I see betrayal to one’s own as one of the heart-wrenching self-infliction.

I love my family as much as I love myself. So if I ever hear something unpleasant being spoken about them out of pure nonsensical blabbers or with kind intentions but constructed from one’s narrow opinionated mindset, be prepared to get it from me. Feel glad because that will mean you are someone I care to let you a peace of my disgust. If not, you probably does not leave too much track in my life chapters.

Twenty eleven is targetted. And my hair is finally dry in this wee hours that I can finally sleep. So where are my fans? Make some noise!! >_< narcissism!