咳嗽很辛苦。在外国咳嗽更辛苦。本来一切好好的。要不是因为一些无枉之灾，根本就相安无事。
很快就要回国咯！迫不及待。累死了。不明白。我只读4科，感觉上我比任何人还累。脑筋不停地在转，想着要怎么执行。精神上损耗不少，却鲜少人知。
华盛顿之旅都还没写完。唉。
我要努力，我要成功。这已成了我在这下半段的日子里的动力。没人在我身边给与我力量，短讯音讯画面也只能鼓励我如此。
在这我有两袋咖啡。一袋比另一袋好喝。每天早上我都只允许自己从那不好喝的一袋取出一包咖啡粉。我认为我在功课上还没做出令自己满意的表现。所以我不能先享受那好喝的咖啡。但我知道，当我喝完了不好喝的咖啡后，会有很多机会喝到好喝的。先苦后甜吗？我自己的一个比较烂的比喻。哈。
脑子里不听地播放着容祖儿的「我的骄傲」。是琴弦。
2 more months plus to going back Singapore. Seems too soon to go back but kinda dread that it’s still another 2 months.
My dream has ended. All what was supposed to be have wonderful ending has come to a premature stop. I should have known. I wilfully let it continue, only building and inflicting self-injuries.
A new dream has to be weaved, with all the worse to be prepared for. My time has been worthy so far.
Am I trying too hard or am I not trying hard enough? Or trying should not even be attempted? “Do” is the appropriate word right? That was what you mentioned before.
Need a slap of reminders.. I need reminders, always.. I need it from others…
It took me like 6-8 years to become what I am today, what I am proud of myself. Recently it has occured to me that certain people and some parts of society demanded me to exhibit the darker side of me. These are attributes and characteristics I spent so much effort from correcting over the years. A word of advice, you do not want to see me in that state. So please do not push it too far. Let me reitirate again, if this is gonna be the last time we meet, it would not take me a 2nd thought to show you what I am capable of, for the worse.
Thought of you today. The cold is not fearful, the dying of hope is. If you give me your hands, I would keep it warm as long as I can.
Sometimes, let’s just not waste time…
~for you…
So tired and sleepy. Yet the action of falling asleep is so tormenting… You filled every corner of my mind…
好心真的会有好报吗？
我不期望回报。但为何我感受不到一丝的appreciation？
在世界的土地上踩过的足迹越多，感慨得越多。真感激我父母的所有调教，for what I am today.
看着我朋友开着车在这旅途专心得载着我们，还真羡慕。人高马大，与我们租来的7-seater真是一体，绝配。说到羡慕，我还真不知我最后一次妒忌是何时。
唉。很向往一个简单但圆满的人生。说我肤浅吧，不过不会达到我这人生目标的事我不会花太多心思。相反的，抓住的幸福我也不会轻易放手。
似乎有一个星期多没你的消息。说不想念你是骗人的。但会是单方面的思念吗？ 我想这部落格你或许已没看了。
这段时间我都很专心努力得做事。用工的果实真的是甜的。是多么地想与你分享。
明天就去4天3夜的北部游。这一切是那么的不顺利。我好想跟你诉苦。待会儿6点要起身。现在是2点多了。
你好吗？ 别累坏了。你要加油，专心。你行的。晚安。我还是爱你。
Sleeping in Niagara Fall hostel for tonight. It was a good day spent at the falls looking at the spectacular gigantic waterfalls. But on and off my mind was constantly drifting elsewhere, like sentiments along the downstream here in Niagara Falls.
Hopefully the lads with me were not affected by me. They would not possibly be. My face is deceiving.
Good night my dear. I had to think so long whether to SMS you how was your face. Does it matter if I did? Or what if I did not? Missing you and not able to tell you is cruelty.
Someone please tell me what to do….
I am strong. If only the world exist between myself and just myself, I would have saved so much tears.
Only upon thinking of my family and my love one in revising the failure of me in performing the basic standards got me beaten and hurt.
Living without kin-companionship, best-friend-buddy-ship and a warming love relationship is really the worse one could ever be in a lifetime. I am going through hell…. It’s taking a toll on me… I feel so sorry for myself… Nothing scares me here. Lack of encouragment does.
So emotionally and word-driven am I that 2 blogs were published within a day.
Tough time don’t last. Tough man do. Let me cry like a man first.
多伦多电影节的缩写叫TIFF。我才刚认为我对TIFF的参与即将结束，谁知另一个tiff却开始了。
很惆怅。这一定会被人误会成是个自我答辩，因而会被看似个做作之人。
我做人最失败之一就是这一方面。很多事我还没做已经判我自己一刑。很多事我还没做就认定别人对我的看法。
这对我摄影的生涯是个绊脚石。教授曾经训过我说不能有因没做而自判自己的行为。我跟那教授没很熟，但在多伦多这我却蛮想念他的。
所以其实有些行为或言语看似，听似为做作，但出自与对自己的诚实，我想谁也难以为他定多一条罪。
不怕说想你，因为对你的朝思暮想而夜有所梦；
不怕说疼你，因为总怕你课业上因难题而被累倒；
不怕说想珍惜你，因为未来是否有比你更好的完全不在前提内；
不怕说爱你，因为~就是爱你。
明天就去Niagara Falls玩了。我的心情糟透了。但终究得收拾起来，以免影响别人的开心心情。在这多伦多，很多事我得为别人而做。没办法。这不是做作，只因人活着其实多少为别人而活。满足感在于你是否能从中有所智慧中的人性体会。
我不是菩萨。我不是圣人。所谓只羨鸳鸯不羨仙。我只是不想让人失望。就算别人对我没任何期望，就当我在高攀自己，我也没理由让自己失望吧。
很无奈。在半个地球外，无助是十分可畏的。我写作胜于言语，但心语却非文字所能形容。我要进全力将＂谦诚和爱＂在这3个多月里表现出来。对谁都一样。这是我唯一能给自己在多伦多这里最大的鼓励。多艰难我都得撑。加油国聪！
It is said that relationships are built, not found.
最后，对不起，我爱你。想念9天之前所有你对我说的晚安~