So I am done (perhaps) with my revision of History of Phtotography, Deutsch revision seems 80% done as well. But whatever it is, the mood now from the rainy weather and the question so furiously debated in Facebook has gotten me the mood again for some harsh reality check, probably both for me as well as whoever bothers to read this entry.
Among the group of professions, or maybe just practitioners, those who dabble in the field of arts and creativity always find themselves lost. Let’s make it ourselves instead. We so often questioned the goal of our passion. And I meant the ultimate goal. Maybe I sound too far fetch now for I am still 23 and not yet stepped into the field being a full time professional. But don’t we hold that flickering flame in us ever since we took out this practice to engage in a field of occupation so seemingly carefree with the creative-freedom we could be endowed that we forever distanced ourselves from desk-bound jobs most people are contended with?
Underlined the keywords above. Occupation. Carefree. Creative-freedom. Contended.
Occupation. Yes. We need to earn money. We need to be fed and have to feed others. Most notably our parents. So we can do whatever avant-garde, retro, contemporary (fill in any genre you so religiously sticked to) works we like, we love. The thing is the works must be liked and loved by others as well. And the others are sometimes none other than investors, employers, even simple passer-bys and audiences. They are indirectly our source of “zeroes” in our paycheck. So “commercialisation” is the big word on top of the umbrella, UNLESS you managed to put “Self-Employed” above all heirachy. And that is only sustainable if you still consider commercialisation somewhere.
Carefree and creative-freedom. Again, we can enjoy these if we are the bosses. Or at least the directors in a common commercially creative structure. Staying humble I think is the key. Talented we might be, in the eyes of others, especially the superiors, either we are deemed inferior (that’s why they are the superiors), or what we did was never enough or the best. I mentioned before, my former RSM said: “Don’t always think you had done the best, when in the eyes of others you had done just enough”. Strip the airs of “I know” and put on that jacket only when the environment calls. You will feel the comfort. Conversely, telling one self “I sucks” is not easy, but I think it helps.
Contended. I will always remember my professor for Understanding Singapore Society, Lim Chee Han, once asked, “So what if you study?” Get a degree. “So what you get a degree?”. To secure a good job in the future. “So what you secure a good job in the future?” To be rich? “So what if you are rich?” So we can be happy? This is a question of life and the answers will be similar most of the time for most people. Then is the process important since (maybe) contention and happiness are the eventual answers we sought?
Studying in Arts, Design and Media in NTU, maybe the order of the name gave away the clues. Arts (artistic development) in the foundation year, Design (conceptual development) in the 2nd and 3rd years, and Media (commercial development) in the final year. Ok. I am crapping. But I always feel ADM is too much of an artistic school for my liking than a design school which I am more comfortable with. So with people in my school feeling otherwise I am quite baffled. If they are right, I feel we should all feel blessed. In my opinion, a pure Arts school who can give you all freedom you wished for in your productions with no development of commercial intend is a degeneration to Arts they feel so attached to. I am capitalistic inclined. Pardon me.
So in the hoohah of self-identity search, my direction I gave myself is clear. Get the f**k out of school if I think I cannot get beneficial knowledge out of it. Simple. No point harping over what the school cannot provide over what I wished to be doing. I heard that umpteen times since my Poly days. If you think you have seen enough, you probably have not. So complaining over what one’s want to do but not getting them in school curriculum, maybe quitting is the resolution. If something stops you from doing that, answer to yourself frankly. Maybe it is just a transcript of the bachelor that holds you back. No surprise here in Singapore. Then revised Chee Han’s question once more. Lying to yourself is the greatest enemy to self-improvement. I still sucks in this myself.
Weekends can be spent sleeping all you want if that is what makes you happy. Pondering over the above all the time is not healthy. I am convincing myself too. So do what you like or something outside your major is. You might not even have school on all 5 weekdays. So any valid excuse? But always stop-check and braced youself against the harshest reality the society got to offer for us being adults are responsible for. And to my NTU friends, do take up some electives you really like. Busy-happy is better than slacking-piss.
My 2 cents.
). I will discuss with him when I find the chance. Dark room is time-consuming, no doubt. Watching the clock ticking past during developing and printing is heart-aching.